We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
