can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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