gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
