I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
