so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
