She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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