come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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