I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
