He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
