I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
