She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Randomize
