good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
