Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
