Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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