lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
