it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
