Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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