let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
