they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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