Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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