So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
