like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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