The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Did I show you my penis last night?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
