Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize