So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
soo... how was my night?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
