that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
