Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.

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(760): View more from California

she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.

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(916): View more from California

I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk

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(850): View more from Florida

idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'

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(641): View more from Iowa

We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.

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(913): View more from Kansas

He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.

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