I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We named our party play list daddy issues
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
