I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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