I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
