We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
