so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
