paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
