So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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