if i can run in heels then i can drive
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
