Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize