Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
