if you like me you must not know who I am
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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