Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
