1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
