it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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