Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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