I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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