Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
