see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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