she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
