My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I party with great urgency now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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