I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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