Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am naked and annoyed.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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