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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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