Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
