I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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