Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
