I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
