ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
