my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
