Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Acid is not a monday night drug
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
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