I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
