Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
