Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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