He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
