he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize