ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
