hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
