Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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