did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
