I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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