Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize