How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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