Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
