Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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