as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
