I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
