that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
