My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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