he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Enjoy the penises
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
